Bret

Bret is your typical eccentric recluse.  After cracking what has often been referred to as "The Great American Joke" some seven years ago now, he mysteriously disappeared from the spotlight and now rarely appears outside except to purchase Mountain Dew and donuts.  Bret now engages in what he insists is the next great comedy art form: the E-Card.  If you get directed to an Internet site that contains a quirky quip about Kwanzaa, a panache-filled paragraph on Pi Day (March 14), or a witty witticism about Wit Day you can bet that he had something to do with it.  Bret loves alliteration.  And redundancy.  And tautology.  And pleonasm.  Yeah…

Every summer, Bret works for the US Government developing new Blow-dart technology.  His laser-sighted, automatic blow-guns are currently being used to protect the cast of Survivor 2 from the natives of the Australian outback. Bret enjoys moderation.

Bret is a religion major cuz he figured if he could get his eternal salvation worked out in college, he could spend the rest of his life figuring out how to make six figures. Bret is currently using his collegiate studies and love of comedy to write a stirring Gospel titled "That wacky, wacky Jesus" which he expects will someday be included in the New Testament.