Hey America, I was just sitting around today and I thought of a real fun thing that we as a country could do together. You know, something that the country could do together to bond and really make us feel as one. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?
Alright so here we go. We’re gonna rock this out and it’s gonna be really easy for all of us. Starting today everybody in America is gonna give their babies the same middle name. C’mon nobody was really using the middle name for anything important and on top of that it’ll help people to focus on the first name which is the one that really counts. Right? Right. Kick butt.
OK, so from now on we give everybody the middle name “Comma”. Not with the quotation marks, I was just using those to designate the fact that it was the actual middle name and not just another word in the sentence. Right? Right. Kick butt.
Do you see how awesome that would be?
“Hey what’s your name?”
“Benjamin Comma Thomas”
“Whoah, wait a minute, now I’m all mixed up as to which name is your first name and which is your last. Suddenly America has become much more exciting and I feel a strange kinship with all of my fellow countrymen! (and women!)”
Now this is gonna have to start with the pregnant ladies. Now, you may have certain objections but if it makes it any easier my original plan was for this nationwide plan of everybody doing fifty sit-ups a day to combat the fact that we’re like the fattest country ever. Third place was this “Pay it Forward” plan but I finally watched that today and the kid dies at the end. Right? Wrong. No kicking of butt.
This is Runestad Comma Bret, signing off. OK, I’m sorry, now I’m just messing with you. Haha, this country’s gonna be great!