Do you know what time it is kids? That’s right! It’s fun with the Bible time. It’s your favorite thought structure where your host Bret (having no exciting ideas for thoughts and an undergraduate degree in religion with a focus on Biblical studies that isn’t really doing anything for him at the moment) points out some fun, wacky, and true Bible verses. Let’s go!
The first one comes from 2 Kings 2:23-35 and shows our buddy Elisha kicking some serious tail in a pre-Rogaine world!
“He went up from there to Beth’el; and while he was going on the way some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, ‘Go away, baldhead! Go away, baldhead!’ When he turned around and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.”
This commandment from Deuteronomy 25:11 is pretty harsh, but as I think any man will tell you, quite fair.
“If men get into a fight with one another, and the wife of one intervenes to rescue her husband from the grip of his opponent by reaching out and seizing his genitals, you shall cut off her hands; show no pity.”
Idolatry and dangerous cooking combinations join forces in this exciting little verse from Hosea 3:1!
“The Lord said to me again, ‘Go, love a woman who has a lover and is an adulteress, just as the Lord loves the people of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes.’”
Finally, Nahum 3:5 shows us that the good Lord isn’t against straight-up embarrassment in order to get his way.
“I am against you, says the Lord of hosts, and will lift up your skirts over your face; and I will let nations look on your nakedness and kingdoms on your shame.”
Alright, well I think we’ve rocked it out Old Testament style enough for now showing once again that even in the realm of comedy the Lord is, well, Lord