Unfortunately not all relationships work out. Sometimes it seems that no matter how much two people love each other, they’re up against a lot. Sometimes couples just have to sit down and face the facts.
Girl: Honey, you need to understand the fact that you were born and raised on a planet that can reach 100 degrees below zero and that gives you a personality that is inherently very cold. Also, whenever your folks come over they track red dust over the whole house.
Guy: Well, I think you need to understand that you come from a planet with an average surface temperature of 864 degrees Fahrenheit and a surface pressure 97 times that of earth. I think it’s pretty obvious that your hot-tempered and stressed-out nature can be directly linked to your upbringing.
Girl: Well, all I know is I’m tired of fighting over the thermostat every minute.
Guy: And I’m tired of having to constantly exhale into your face just because 97% of your home atmosphere is Carbon Dioxide!!
Girl: Oh just because your planet has a little more Nitrogen and Argon in the air, you think you’re SO special?
Guy: Hey, you’re the one that’s always bragging about how your hometown is closer to the sun. All I know is that nobody’s sending rovers to YOUR planet looking to take soil samples!
Girl: Yeah, well the best women’s tennis player in the world is named after MY planet!
Guy: We’ve got our own candy bar. Granted you really only find it overseas these days, but our corporation is responsible for such classics as M&M’s and Milky Ways!
Girl: Hey! The Milky Way belongs to both of us!
Pizza Place: Hey! Why don’t we find another Guy and name a T.V. show after ourselves?
Folks, if you’ll take a second to think, you’ll agree with me that books and spin-off TV shows aren’t the place to turn for relationship advice. You should be turning to T.J. Monkey’s. Specifically, you should be turning to me. If you’re a girl, you’ll get great advice like “Break up with the guy you’re dating and go out with Bret.” If you’re a guy, you’re more likely to hear something like “Break up with the girl you’re dating and tell her to go out with Bret.” These are just 2 out of the many (2) answers you may receive, so contact the Bret Runestad dating service today.