Living in an academic setting such as a “University” I hear a lot of the same cliche bull about procrastination every day. Now usually, I don’t complain because, heck, it’s better than living in the Vatican City and having to deal with Papal Bull. However, today I’m gonna allow myself to vent.
It’s just that there are only so many times you can listen to people say things like “Oh my gosh, I should totally go do work, I’m such a procrastinator.” My usual response to that kind of drivel is something along the lines of “Yeah, and I can’t believe how I’ve been breathing all this AIR lately.” If they’re gonna be wowed by obvious human traits, I can join in on the fun too. Have you ever met anybody who didn’t procrastinate? I did once, but then tentacles started shooting out of Npengoik’s stomach and soon after he had to return to the mother ship.
Of course people procrastinate. If people weren’t gonna put off work, it wouldn’t be work – it would be something they enjoy doing, and nobody enjoys their work. (Except prostitutes, but I already wrote that thought) Procrastination is just one of those human truths – like the never-ending quest for no points in tennis.
The sickest part is that people constantly put procrastination down. I love procrastination, and I don’t know where I’d be without it. Yesterday procrastination got me to change the sheets on my bed. My sheets had been pretty funky for some time and I kept putting off the pesky chore of putting on fresh sheets. Then along came the time to study for my Calc midterm and I had to find some way to avoid working. The first thing I did was change the pillowcases. I had a pretty lengthy amount of time to be unproductive, so I ended up doing a fantastic job making my bed. Heck, I even went out and bought a mint for the pillow.
Now, without procrastination I would say that I would have endured sleeping in those nasty sheets for another three weeks before I would have been physically unable to stand it. But with the aid of kind Mr. P, I’ve been enjoying crisp, clean bed linens. Procrastination helps people. Heck, the only reason I took the time to write this thought is that it’s a heck of a lot better than reading 50 pages on Unitarianism and writing a 300 word reaction paper.
Starting today, I’m gonna use the Principle of Procrastination to make me the most efficient man ever. From now on, my only task in life will be to spend three hours every day listening to the BeeGees. Everything else should seem quite pleasant in comparison. Uh oh, sorry, I’m gonna have to cut this thought short – Greatness is on line two, and I shan’t make her wait.