John’s Holiday Corner

Ah, the holidays, a time where we can all get together, supress our hatred for our family, and unite as one to remember our one true goal: to get lots of days off work. The sad thing is, many people don’t know the full lowdown on all them great holidays. Enter John. Some call him a sage, others an epic poet, others still call him a tall white guy who writes well. Either way, take a look through his archives of holiday fun, and if you find yourself offended at any point, remember: being sacreligious is as American as apple pie and election tampering.

All of John’s holidays

On Why We Celebrate Halloween 10/31/2000
On the True Meaning of Thanksgiving 11/25/2000
On a Thanksgiving Memory: A Boy and His Turkey 11/26/2000
On the Meaning of Christmas 12/25/2000
On Valentine’s Day: Great Loves of Our Time 2/14/2001
On the State of the John 2/27/2001
On St. Patrick’s Day, It’s Not Easy Being Green 3/17/2001
On the Creation of Easter 4/15/2001
On Some Reflections on the Fourth 7/4/2001
On a Sample Cover Letter: In Honor of Labor Day 9/3/2001
On How Columbus Day Came to Be 10/8/2001
On Life With the Undead 10/31/2001
On a Little Known Thanksgiving Fact 11/25/2001
On a Very Commie Christmas 12/25/2001
On Valentine’s Day: My First Love 2/14/2002
On the Columbus Day That Almost Wasn’t 10/10/2002
On Thanksgiving, Holiday Of Evil! 11/25/2002
On the Story of the Christmas Tree 12/20/2002
On the Christmas That Almost Wasn’t: United States v. Claus 12/25/2002

John’s Holiday Corner

January

February

April

September

October

November

December

All of John’s holidays