Well, the time has come. I’ve kept quiet for long enough, but I’ve had it up to here…OK, really only up to here. That first time I was exaggerating for effect.
Nonetheless, you can tell I’m pretty steamed.
About what?
Wouldn’t you like to know?
If you answered “yes” to the above question, continue reading this Thought. If you answered “no”, that’s cool. It’s your prerogative to stop reading at any time. You’re like Bobby Brown in that way. But only that way.
OK, I’m going to lay it all out on the table for you: People who dress above their level of attractiveness really get my knickers in a bunch, and no one likes bunched knickers.
Let me tell you why. Because bunched knickers ride up, and wedgies ain’t cool.
Now, let me tell you why the “above level dressers” upset me.
I’m walking along, and from a distance I see what appears to be a very attractive girl. She’s dressed to the nines. This is a girl who, as Nupe so correctly taught us in his Thought, On Hot People, would probably never talk to me ’cause, well, she’s hot and therefore inherently better than I. Of course, even if she won’t talk to me I can still look at her and enjoy her hotness.
As she gets closer, I realize that this girl is good from far, but far from good. The clothes truly made the woman in this case. So now I was all psyched about this hot chick who turns out to just be a good dresser. How disappointing is that?
It would be like opening your biggest, best-wrapped birthday present, and inside there are some socks when what you really wanted was a new car (how socks and a car would fit into the same size box, I have no idea).
Bottom line: I’m moderately cute. I dress that way. No one’s disappointed.
So, do everyone a favor. Follow my lead, and dress at your level…