Man, do I ever hate Jessica Simpson.
I can’t stand her and wish someone would kidnap her, drop her off in a Turkish prison, lock her away for 15 years, and cut her damn little “Irresistible” tongue out.
A little harsh? Perhaps, but I really do hate her.
The reasons I hate her are A) her beliefs and B) the way she is marketed. (I also hate her on a base level because she sampled a John Mellencamp song to make one of her little teeny bopper ditties, but I feel like this other stuff makes a stronger argument.)
I mean, Jessica, we get it. You like Jesus. You are a virgin. You are going to be Christian for the rest of your life (unless you stop, just so you can be a born-again Christian and recommit to JC). But if you’re gonna do that, then I take issue with the fact that you are being sold as a SEX symbol. Doesn’t that conflict with your morality on any level? Or does the record deal let you glance over that slight impropriety?
Now, am I being hypocritical? Would I sell out my soul and my beliefs to become a temporarily famous singer? Hell, I’d do it for bus fare to Atlantic City. But we aren’t talking about me! So, back to Jessica!
Now don’t misunderstand me: I do not hate her beliefs. Not at all. She can do whatever she wants to do, and I will support her all the way. Or more probably I just won’t really pay any attention to her. I mean, hey, if she wants to spread the message that Chicken McNuggets are actually sentient beings who need to be freed from their indentured servitude, well, then that’s cool. More power to her. But if I then find her doing an advertisement for Burger King, chomping down on their chicken tenders…then I would pissed. And as an American I have the right to form a mob and hunt her down (4th Amendment, Section 32A).
I’m not saying that upon viewing her videos people run outside and have sex. That rarely happens (but when it does it’s a sight to see). It’s just the conflicting ideologies that piss me off and bring on the seething hatred for her. I mean, I’ve never seen Amy Grant wearing anything less than an overcoat. And she definitely don’t sing about gettin’ it on. But maybe Vince Gill keeps her in the house too much, I don’t know.
So, to sum up, Jessica Simpson: bad; Amy Grant: not a hypocrite; this Thought: not that funny. And now, I’m off to Atlantic City. And I’m all outta bus fare.