On A Funny Story From Last Night

Hey Samantha,

Friday night was fun, wasn’t it? I know it seemed like I was a little out of sorts. Drunk, you might say. But I wasn’t. I had a few, sure, but I was cool. I always dance like that – dorky white guy, ha! Well, when I dance, anyway. Which isn’t often. But it was fun! Yeah, totally fun.

Anyway, funny story. When I left the bar early (oh, and by the way did you see that guy trip me on the way out? What a jerk, making me look so stupid right in front of all the women’s room line!) Anyway, I was walking home, just minding my own business, when these three drunk guys come up to me. I usually walk around carrying my phone, in case I need to make a really fast call in an emergency. Well, these guys were really drunk. Way drunk. Soused beyond recognition (not that I recognized them anyway).

So these guys start talking smack to me, totally out of nowhere! This one guy grabs my phone while the other guys keep me away from him. This guy then calls someone (I didn’t know who at the time) and apparently leaves a message. Now I was getting pissed. I mean, really really pissed. I didn’t even know these dudes. I mean, New York, right? Anyway, I get pissed and start steppin’, and this other is so drunk and cocky that he makes another call (again, I don’t know who it was at the time). Well, at this point I had had it. I started swinging with my umbrella (did I mention I had an umbrella?) Well, this drunk guy lost interest after I whaled him in the solar plexus and I grabbed my phone and headed home.

On my way home I checked the call log and realized that this dude called you. Twice! Who knows what he said! Well, you do, I guess. But don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.

So, yeah…

Isn’t that a funny story? Well, not funny haha, but funny hmm. Kinda funny scary too, since these guys coulda mugged me. Well, don’t worry, I’m not hurt. Haha. Haha. Huh.

Well, hopefully we can hang out again sometime, only this time I’ll stay for the whole time, maybe head home with someone else so I don’t get accosted by drunks. Oh, uh, not you. Well, ok, not not you, but, um, well, ok, you. O I can go home with you?

HEY! Get off of my email! Sorry, some drunk dude just pushed me off my chair and commandeered my email. Can you believe that? Wow, New York, right? Hehe. Hehe. Hum.