I would never live in Atlanta. Because the word “Atlanta” is too close to being a palindrome without actually being one. Miami’s the same way. And the whole state of Ohio is out. Hawaii is OK, I guess, but… it just has too many vowels. Those two i’s there at the end… bleah.
Jacksonville will never happen because I’ve only known one guy named Jack in my life, and he was a real dickhouse. Same with Philadelphia and, to a lesser extent, Richmond. (The second Rich I know is actually an OK guy.)
Los Angeles, San Jose, Orlando: all Spanish names, and I don’t speak Spanish. Nor do I have the time to learn. Baton Rouge: French, but it’s same story.
I’ll never move to Boston becasuse I read about it too much in high school history. It would just be creepy to be inside that place I read about so much. “Well. Here I am in… Boston. (shudder)” You know?
Providence sounds too God-y, Portland (Oregon or Maine) is too similar to my own name (Porter), and Albany… I dunno… I’m just not feelin’ Albany, you know?
Yep, I don’t think I’m moving any time soon. Too many places got too many stupid little things wrong with ’em.
Also, U-Hauls are very expensive, and I have no money.