Sometimes I wonder why everyone seems to want to be famous movie stars. Why does everybody want to deal with all of that unwanted attention and lack of privacy? Do people really want to give up their right to go grocery shopping without a hundred people bugging you?
Then I realized something.
If you’re famous you could shoot a movie with a naked shot of your butt in it. Then the whole world would think they had something on you because they’ve seen your butt. They’d be all like, “That Bret Runestad thinks he’s pretty hot stuff and maybe he is, but I’ve seen his butt. So there.”
What they wouldn’t know though, is that you used a butt double in that movie. So really, you’ve got the edge on the entire movie-going public. And then you can be all like, “Didn’t like my latest movie huh? Well, you also think you’ve seen my butt when you totally haven’t. Suckas!”
Man that would rule. I want to be a famous movie star.