A freight train, a commuter train, and a coal train walk into a bar. A train bar.
“What’ll you have?” said the bartender at the train bar.
“I’ll have some freight,” said the freight train gruffly.
“Coming right up,” said the bartender. “What about you?”
“I’ll have some commuters,” said the commuter train curtly.
“Right away,” said the bartender. “And you?”
“Hmm… you know, actually… I think I’ll have a Midori sour,” said the coal train. “Ooo, and some extra cherries in that, too, Jerry.”
The freight train and the commuter train both turned to look derisively at the coal train.
“Oh God, come on! Can’t I have one moment of fun in my entire life? Can’t I? Can’t we do anything new now and then?” said the coal train. He was met with unwavering silence from the other two trains.
“Gah, Jesus, fine! Just give me some God damned coal, OK, Jerry? You all happy now? Is everything as it should be now? My God,” said the coal train. “You’re both such incredible assholes, you know that? You’re all going to wake up one day and find that your lives are pathetic. You hear me? Pathetic!”
“So… coal, then? You sure?” said the bartender nervously.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure, Jerry,” grumbled the coal train. And then he ate some peanuts from the bowl sitting on the bar. And then he sighed longingly.
The three trains never did try any new drinks. And air travel and a more efficient national highway system essentially rendered America’s rail system useless.