Tell me you’ve seen the new series of commercials for Pontiac cars:
OH MY DEAR LORD! WE GET TO DRIVE A CAR!!
Let’s go to the corner store. No better yet, let’s go to Atlantic City. Ooo, How about Atlantic City in TUXES!?!?!
Oh damn! This car’s got an outlet!! We can make smoothies while we drive to Atlantic City in tuxes!!! In BLUE VELOUR TUXES!!!!
WHOA! Wait a minute. Is that? No, it can’t be. Seriously though. IS THAT CHROME!?!?!
The circle thingies on the dashboard are all CHROMED OUT, YO! Digga-damn! That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my ENTIRE LIFE!
YOYOYO. You guys won’t believe this, but after checking out the outlet and that chrome stuff I realized that this car has…it has…oh sweet Jesus…it has SEATS! People can RIDE in this car. Do you believe that?
They can ride in BLUE VELOUR TUXES and still have plenty of storage room for CANES AND TOP HATS!!!!!!! AND 99 CENT STEAK DINNERS!!!!!!!!! AND PROSTITUTES!!!!!!!!!!!
If all that doesn’t make a car say BUY ME, I don’t know what will…
Author’s Note: Roadtripping from DC to Durham with Cason, John and Porter contributed to this Thought, despite the fact that Cason does not have a Pontiac, nor is he at all “chromed out”.