This thought is about Ashlee Simpson, sister of Jessica Simpson the rather beautiful pop singer. You’ve probably never heard of her, because she hasn’t really accomplished anything in her life beyond being Jessica Simpson’s sister. However, the chance of you hearing about her has now been raised somewhat as she has been installed as the newest MTV VJ.
I can’t tell you how excited I am about this. It’s not that I really care about Ashlee Simpson at all. Like I said, she’s nothing special. I am however excited by the idea that music television executives are carrying their hiring process to its natural conclusion.
I look forward to a day when every single VideoJockey is a celebrity’s sibling. Here’s why:
- They’re gonna be attractive. Heck, we’re not allowing anybody on TV that ain’t good looking. And a celebrity’s sister or brother is dipping into that same gene pool, so they can’t be too far gone.
- They’re gonna want to be famous, but they won’t have any talent. Personality is the bane of VJ’s. I don’t know why. That’s just the way it is. Introduce the videos, smile, but whatever you do, do not be funny or interesting.
- The world will make sense to those of us who don’t understand why we’re not the ones getting paid a lot of money to stand around and tell you that up next is your number 2 video: Evanescence featuring Paul McCoy of Twelve Stone with “Bring Me To Life.” Instead we’ll just shrug and say, “oh well, that job is only for people with famous siblings.”
So, let’s just cut to the chase. Out with Carson Daly and in with Jamie Lynn Spears. Bring on the whole Timberlake clan! Let’s meet all of the Kutchers! How old are Madonna’s kids? Old enough to hold a mic?
Here’s to you pseudo-famous people! Why? Because you’re linked by birth to someone who accomplished something. And you deserve something for that.