Hey there, little pup! Hey! How are ya, boy? Huh? How are ya? How are ya, pup? You’re a cute one, y’know that? Yeah you are! You betcha! Oh, that’s a good boy. That’s a good boy! Yeah…
Is your mommy or daddy in that store? Picking up some nummies for you, no doubt. Nummies for the good pup. Left you all by your lonesome, huh? Saying hi to everyone, yes you are! Yeah. You like that? Ahaha! You like that! You betcha! Awww, that’s a tough little boy, huh? Grrrrr! Yeah…
Hey boy, y’know what I’d like more than anything? A good pup like you. Yeah, just like you! Would ya like that? A buddy to pal around with? Yeah, I sure would love a pup like you. You betcha. Yeah…
I kinda feel bad for my pup, once I get him, y’know that? Yes I do! I do feel bad for him! Yeah. All my hopes and dreams and expectations for my puppy, built up over years and years, playing with pups like you. That’s a good boy! Yeah, my puppy’s gonna have a lot of pressure on him, yes he is. All that love and affection I expect! And the frolicking? Oh there’ll have to be tons of frolicking, right, boy? Right? Aw, yeah there will! You betcha! And he’ll be adorable. More adorable than you even! If that’s possible, you cutie! Yeah, if that’s possible. Yeah…
Oh, I’ll still love him if he doesn’t exactly meet up to me expectations. Yes I will! I’ll love him. But I’ll judge him harshly. Yes I will. I’ll hold him accountable for all of his actions. I’ll remember you, pup, and wonder why I didn’t just steal you right here and now, avoid the disappointment. Wonder in a loving way, yes I will. You betcha. I’ll wonder it and I’ll resent my pup. Resent him for no justifiable reason, and become disenchanted with the entire domesticated canine species. My pup will grow old, and we’ll tolerate each other, and eventually he’ll die. Only then will I realize how much he meant to me all those years, and I’ll get a new pup, who will never live up to the expectations of my first pup. Or you, you good boy, you. You betcha. Yeah…
And the same pattern will repeat itself, perhaps two or three more times, until finally I’m too feeble to care for a pup at all. I’ll pass on, alone and missing all my departed pups. And you. You betcha. And you. I’ll be reunited with all my old pups in heaven, where they’ll finally voice their disgust and frustration with me for having given them all inferiority complexes, and leave me again, alone and sad. And so will you, boy. So will you. In heaven. Yeah…
Oh, hi, is he yours? What a great dog, and so well behaved. I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been keeping him company. I’m planning on getting one just like him. Well, huh, maybe. Have a good one. You, too boy. That’s a good boy! You betcha! Yeah…