When you meet a friend of a friend and you think you hit it off; when you ask the friend for his or her friend’s number; and when the friend gives you the number but says “I don’t know why you’d call her, she’s got a serious boyfriend; when that happens, loyal readers, you have just been subtly insulted.
The key word here is serious. This is the heart of the insult. It’s as though this friend thinks so little of, thinks you are such a complete asshole, that only the word serious will prevent you from muscling in on some guys girlfriend. Because you’re already so good looking that anyone you go for will melt in your arms. You’re already so charming that people develop a specific amnesia towards their committed relationships and start dating you immediately, until you get bored and end it.
No, the term “boyfriend” will suffice. No qualification necessary, be it serious, hot, rich, and sensitive, or dead. There are easier ways inform someone that you think they are an asshole. For example, you can write them a letter indicating to them your feelings, give them a picture set of a rear end, a plus sign, and a manhole with the word “YOU” underneath the lot, or say something to them like, “You’re an asshole.”
I know that I appreciate the direct approach, and I think everyone else would benefit from it as well. Because, let’s be honest, it takes a certain kind of paranoid neurotic to catch a subtle insult. And we can’t all be serious paranoid neurotics.