Dear Flynn,
It’s your Right Knee, here. Just wanted to thank you, on behalf of all the Bones, Joints, Muscles, Tendons, and Ligaments for your 23 years of relative inactivity that has kept us completely intact and unharmed. We were recently at the Bone, Joint, Muscle, Tendon, and Ligament Convention in Galveston, Texas (not an intelligent location, by the way – the humidity wrought havoc on the Joints), and the whole experience just reinforced our gratitude.
We heard so many horror stories. Torn these and those, broken this and that, sprained anything else. I mean, there were times we felt like we couldn’t relate to anyone, so sheltered we’ve been! But then again, the likelihood that we’ll be replaced by synthetics is just so small, and we took comfort in that during the jeering. Have your fun now, but you’ll be sorry when you’re lying on a biomedical waste pile, replaced by titanium and ball bearings. One Elbow had the gall to suggest that perhaps we felt resentful towards you since we are used so infrequently. I quickly reminded her that we aid in a whole ton of walking every single day, and, as we all know, walking is one of the healthiest activities Bones, Joints, Muscles, Tendons, and Ligaments can aid in. Some members of the muscular-skeletal system don’t need to show off with Iron Man competitions, football games, or toe-touching. Of course, what we learned this past weekend is that most do, and that’s just so sad. What about priorities, right?
Anyway, we realize how busy you are (we had brunch with you Mental Capacity yesterday), so we’ll wrap this up. Again, we really appreciate the lifestyle you’ve chosen, and we look forward to many more decades of as little physical activity as possible. We are committed to our highly successful Metabolic lobbying effort and hope to maintain our current rate of operations. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions, comments, or specific requests.
Yours,