You know, a lot of us T.J. Monkey-ers have actual jobs. Strange but true. I tried to avoid it for as long as I could, but even I’m stuck with one. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it. I really do, but so much comes along with a job, it’s just sometimes tough to deal with it all.
Take, for example, the e-mail signature. If you have a job, you have to have one of these. It says something to the effect of:
Scott Hecker
Firm Name
Underling (whom you really aren’t going to remember)
Phone Number
E-mail (from which I am currently writing)
Then, the firm itself has a statement that goes a little something…like this:
Anything you read above is highly sensitive information. You probably shouldn’t even be reading it. In fact, how did you even get this message? Do you have security clearance? All right, that’s it. We’re on our way to get you. Right now. That’s us knocking on your door. There’s nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Surrender. Big Brother is watching.
Of course messages my friends and I send then come across looking like this:
To: Friends@wherever.com
From: scott@tjmonkeys.com
CC: tjmonkeysreaders@alloverthegoddamworld.com
Subject: yoyou guys wanna get some pizza tonight?
Scott Hecker
Firm Name
Underling (whom you really aren’t going to remember)
Phone Number
E-mail (from which I am currently writing)Anything you read above is highly sensitive information. You probably shouldn’t even be reading it. In fact, how did you even get this message? Do you have security clearance? All right, that’s it. We’re on our way to get you. Right now. That’s us knocking on your door. There’s nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Surrender. Big Brother is watching.
End communication.
I never knew pizza was so serious. But it is.
Oh, it really is…