On the bus the other day I told a joke to my friend.
“Hee hee,” he said.
“Oh, you liked it?” I said.
“Oh, no, I’m sorry, I was actually just trying to get the attention of my Chinese friend, Hee, who is sitting on the other side of you. I didn’t even hear your joke,” he said.
“Oh,” I said, and I proceeded to tell the joke again.
“Ha ha ha,” he said very excitedly.
“Oh! I knew you’d like it once you heard it!” I said.
“What? Oh, I, no, you see, I just took a sip of my cup of coffee, and it was very hot, and it burned my tongue, and I was just saying, ‘Ho…ho….’ I was trying to say the word ‘hot,’ but with my burnt tongue and all, I couldn’t get it out. I heard the first part of your joke, but what with all this nonsense with the coffee, I never even heard the punchline,” he said.
“I heard it,” said Hee. “But I didn’t like it.”
“Oh,” I said, and I went ahead and told it again.
“Aha aha,” he said.
“See! I knew it; I knew you’d-”
“No, I was just saying the name of the 80’s bad that sung ‘Take On Me’. Their name is ‘A-Ha.’ I’ve been trying to think of it all day, and right as you were saying your little joke I remembered it. Twice. I remembered it twice, and I said it twice. And I still didn’t hear all of your joke,” he said.
So I told it again.
“Tee Hee…which is the name of a famous caricaturist from the 50’s and 60’s. Sorry.”
I told it again.
“Heh heh heh…I was trying to think of a really short palindrome. Oops.”
Again.
“A ha heh tee hee hee…I was just telling Hee about the ‘Take On Me’ band, my new palindrome, and the caricaturist. A thousand pardons.”
“Look,” I said. “I will tell this joke one last time, so you listen up, and you listen up good.”
And I told it. And he listened.
And he said, “That’s probably the most unfunny thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life!”
“Damnit,” I said. “I thought you’d like it.”
“He did,” said Hee. “That’s what he always says when he likes a joke. He says, ‘that’sprobablythemostunfunnythingI’veeverheardinmyentirelife.’ It’s Esperanto for ‘raucous laughter.’”
“This has all just gotten very silly,” I said.
“Perhaps,” said he and Hee. “Or perhaps you’re just upset about your stupid jokes.”
“Hey, what kinda- where the hell do you get off saying a thing like that?” I said.
“Right here,” said he. And he pulled the cord, and the bus stopped, and he got off. And I rode the rest of the way with just Hee. Hee told me a few Chinese jokes, but I didn’t laugh. She said a lot gets lost in the translation.
“I guess so,” I said. “I guess so.”