We all love applause. Some more than others. There is little worse than appearing in front of a group of behanded individuals, expecting them to violently collide each fingered appendange into the other in a frenzy of approval and merely hearing the sound of one hand clapping. One worse thing would be if the hand that was clapping had two smaller hands of its own. Creepy to say the least. It would certainly answer that timeliess Confucian query. Then we could plant hidden microphones in peat moss and wait until trees fall and clear that one up too. So, in short, clapping = positive. But check this; nobody wants the clap. Well, except…no, not even I can think of anyone. Ew. So if this was on the SAT’s. it would look like this:
- Clapping is to good as the Clap is to
- Bad
- Really freakin’ baddy baddy bad bad
- Somewhere east of St. Louis
- Bad, but worse than the first Bad
- Disappears when C stands up
The answer is irrelevent. It was the journey I was after.
A few more questions for you. What if the world wide web was actually spun by a spider. This spider might be big, or it might be small. Irrelevent, really. Now if this was the case, do you think every business would scramble to advertise on this said world wide (spider) web? Would investors make, then lose, then make, then misplace, then counterfeit, go to jail, and remake money on it? Well, if spiders ran the world, maybe. But that won’t happen for another 40 or 50 years, tops. I have it on good authority. World Wide Web: super. World Wide (spider) Web: super icky.
Every try drinking Coke? No, not the stimulatory white nose dust. I’m referring to that hard gray porous fuel made by heating coal. Now, both will combust in a bomb calorimeter, but then again, what won’t? The moral: know your Coke before you drink it. This message brought to you by Coke, the syrupy sweet ambrosia of the mediocre.
It’s good to know that amongst all the fuzzy words of the English language, we still have words to cling to, pillars of constancy, the antifickle letter conglomerates. Common words like coitus, hegemony, and xanthan gum. Good thing we can always count on words like those.