Besides the cheek-licking, the second best way I know of picking up women is with bent knees. Otherwise, you could throw out your back…
Author’s Note: If all women readers could please return to the main page and enjoy my lovely Fan Mail Nook that would be great.
Psst. Guys, the womenfolk are gone now, so here’s some friendly advice. If you ever do pick up a woman and consequently throw out your back, you better damn well suck it up until you’ve headed home or to a friend’s or to the hospital. If a woman knows you hurt yourself lifting her, your chances with her are gone. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t say she’s overweight. It doesn’t matter that you only picked her up after carrying her six couches up to her seventh floor walkup, which probably had something to do with the subsequent injury. It doesn’t matter that you have a genetic back disorder and throw your back out when you pick up your toothbrush. It only matters that your body implied she was fat, and your body will be held to the same standards as your conscious thoughts or spoken words.