I was sitting on my desk one day – Tuesday. I mean, it could have been any day, but it happened to be Tuesday. What’s the point of denying it, you know? I mean, you’re not going to have trouble relating to this story because of the day it happened on – if anything there’s lots of other reasons you’ll have trouble with it. Probably you’ll really have more trouble with the frequent tangents and poor structure.
Anyway, I was sitting at my desk – well, it’s not like the day it happens makes all that much difference. Does it? Is Tuesday really that much different than any other day? Well, I suppose it is. Monday is the first day of the week, and Wednesday is Hump Day. Thursday is Must See TV day and Friday – well, Friday is Friday, you know? So I guess, Tuesday is pretty different.
So, I suppose when I start my thought on a Tuesday I really am opening up a whole can of worms. There’s a whole emotional tableau that you all have to deal with and I am not being sensitive to that. In fact, Tuesday is really crappy. There’s still a whole week ahead of you and there’s no good TV (ok, maybe Frasier, but that isn’t as good as it used to be). So man, when I start off with my thought on a Tuesday, you’re just screwed from the start. It’s just one big downer.
Then again, if I don’t start on Tuesday where do I start? What if I don’t want to anchor you to the weariness of a Monday, the relief of a Wednesday, the giddiness of a Thursday, or the exuberance of a Friday? Perhaps I just want the neutral feel of a generic weekday in the office. But then what do I leave you with? There you are floating in the ethereal world of thoughts of the day without a single concrete fact to cling desperately to as you’re dragged into the insanity that is T. J. Monkeys.
Well, how about it’s a holiday? Yeah, it’s Labor Day – then there’s a whole new – no, wait, then I wouldn’t be at work. Ok, ok, we’re still alive here, ummmm… Arbor Day.
Ok, ok, so I’m sitting at my desk on Arbor Day and suddenly-
Oh hell. The thought’s already kinda long.
Damn.