This Thought really wasn’t mine at all. It came from a fan’s suggestion, hence the title. But if there’s one thing T.J. Monkey’s is, it’s itchy. If there’s a second thing, it’s accommodating of its fans. So, here’s a Fan Mail-based Thought for Charlotte Howell:
There are certain truths in life. One of them being that there will always be just a little bit more toothpaste in the tube. We’ve all been there. Waking up, heading to the bathroom. For the last 3 and a half weeks we’ve been expecting to throw out our current toothpaste tube. There’s that lovely, dried toothpaste ring around its top and on the cap. The tube’s rolled up so small now that we have trouble actually locating it in the eye-crusty haze of an early morning.
Finally, we track down the tube thinking it can’t possible have any more paste to give. In fact, we’re already reaching for that glistening, brand new tube we bought a month ago with a sense of heightened expectation that soon we’d be making the old tube-new tube switch.
So, it’s time for the perfunctory last check of the old before opening the new. We reroll the tube as tightly as possible and, fully expecting nothing to come out, lean over and look into the opening. You know what happens next: a shot of toothpaste in the eye. This might be disappointing if it didn’t mean that now there’s obviously nothing left in this ratty, old tube.
Unfortunately for the new tube and the laws of physics, the old tube, even after the paste in the eye incident, still has enough left for at least one more tooth cleaning.
How can this be?
Well, I’ll tell you. It has nothing to do with the aforementioned laws of physics, but instead chemistry holds the answer. Much like the “half life” of a radioactive element, such as uranium, toothpaste has a “half amount”. If you take half of something forever, it’s existence is infinite. There will always be something left to take half, or at least a toothbrush full, of.
So, there you are. Science yet again helps to explain everyday phenomenon…
Post Ellipsis Note: Please do not use any of my explanations of science, its laws, rules or phenomena in any sort of legitimate research. I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. That was probably clear from the above rambling incoherence, but I’m required by law to issue this disclaimer.