Have you ever heard the phrase “inner child”? Supposedly, this refers to a child that lives inside each of us and is just waiting to be let loose on the world.
Supposedly.
I for one am anti-inner child. We need to prevent these little bastards from getting out. I mean, for God’s sakes, man! What if the child is evil?!
What if it’s like that little thing from Aliens that tore through that guy’s stomach? Then what? We’ll have little aliens running around all over Earth ripping apart people’s stomachs. Do you want to be responsible for that? I know I don’t.
Of course, a similar Alien tore through a guy’s stomach in Space Balls and then proceeded to do a little soft shoe number that was quite entertaining. Dancing aliens I could deal with. It’s be tough to get past the stomach ripping part, but I mean the little guy was entertaining. But, I digress. Most de-boweling aliens are, in fact, bad. Very few of them are classicly trained dancers, so you’re really running a risk letting them tear open stomachs while holding on to a very slim hope that they may dance well.
Um, so…yeah, please, if you have any sort of love for the human race and for the planet in general, keep your inner child inside where he belongs. Although the human “race” could be more interesting with little aliens chasing us. I mean, what’s up with this race thing anyway? Where’s the finish line? Are we all running? Who’s ahead? Maybe the little alien buggers will add a little spice to this thing…OK, I’ve gotten off track again.
My point is this: no one wants little demon alien children running around messing up their yards or their gardens that took all Spring to plant or that popsicle stick birdfeeder little Billy made at school that he absolutely refuses to move to the backyard, so it’s not as much of an eyesore as it is now…well, maybe they could wreck that, but that’s it. Just that. Oh, people also don’t want to be killed by these aliens either. That’s a big downer, especially after your garden has been trampled.
So, are we clear now? Is everything understood? No dancing, demon, alien, inner children. Good then.
Oh, by the way, if you’re pregnant you can still give birth. That’s a different kind of inner child…