As the PATH train wound slowly into the World Trade Center stop, I felt the familiar tightening sensation in my stomach. As the “fight or flight” reaction kicked in, I felt the adrenaline surge through my body. I looked around and met the eyes of my fellow commuters.
A swarthy looking businessman had an evil glint in his eye as he licked his lips. An 87 year-old Grandmother tightened her hand on her umbrella. A pregnant lady stood up and moved non-chalantly closer to the doors. I shifted my weight from foot to foot and bounced on the balls of my feet. The train shuddered and lurched a few more yards and then ground to a halt.
An eerie silence settled over the car. The tension was palpable. A trickle of sweat ran down my face as I readjusted my bag. Eyes shifted between the doors on either side of the car. Then, like the starting bell on Wall Street, I heard the sound I was both anticipating and dreading: “Bing-bong.”
With a hiss the doors to my left slid open and the race of my life was on! The crowds poured through the doors – the businessman was out first and sprinting towards the escalator. The old woman jabbed a little girl in the stomach with her umbrella and slipped out ahead of me. I started to break into a run but the damned pregnant woman was in front of me! I stepped to one side and found myself hemmed in by the crazy homeless guy. On the other side, a pink-haired freak wandered towards the stairs. I had no choice.
I swung my bag into the back of the pregnant woman’s knees and she dropped like a sack of flour. I vaulted over her prone body and tried to make up time as I scrambled with the rest of the pack toward the escalator. But the businessman was way ahead and this crowd of lumbering morons was holding me up. It was going to take a miracle to win.
But, then, my miracle happened. The old lady stumbled as she got to the first step. I wasted no time. “The old woman!” I screamed. “She’s weak, get her stuff!” She valiantly fought them off with her umbrella as savage commuters tore into her knitting bag and passed trophy balls of yarn around in victory. I scrambled through this feeding frenzy and found myself just behind the businessman.
He turned back to see me hot on his heels and I grinned maniacally at him. He doubled his pace as we reached the top of the stairs. The sight that met my eyes filled me with horror–a crowd of commuters trudging mindlessly through the turnstiles. All of them were taken up with lines of people – there was no way out. I saw the businessman had paused too. We shared a look and then he dashed for the nearest turnstile and tried to force his way through.
There was another option though. A fat woman waddled by and wasting no time I grabbed her in a choke-hold and screamed, “I need to get to work. Let me through the turnstiles or the fat one gets it!” It was a slight chance, but I was hoping some slim shred of common humanity would take hold of the commuters. I was surprised to see a few decent souls make way for me as I edged towards the turnstiles. Backing through I had almost reached the other side when I was stopped dead. Turning back, I saw my hostage was wedged firmly into the turnstile. I tugged in vain for a moment, but it was no good. With a deep breath I released her and made one last sprint towards the doors and out onto the streets of New York. Looking back to the turnstiles, I saw the businessman still fighting his way through. I smiled in satisfaction.
Sure, I had nothing to do at work today, and no reason to beat that guy. But in the race to get off the morning train you have no friends… and there are no rules.