Hey. Hello? Sorry to interrupt your workout, you seemed pretty intense on the Pec-Deck there. It’s just, I was over there doing my thing on the Lat Pulldown and I realized that we needed to have a talk.
As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been spending a lot of time looking over in your direction. And as you’ve probably surmised, I’ve been doing that because you’re really hot. Don’t get creeped out or anything, it’s not like I’m having any sort of fantasies about you while I’m doing my reps on the Tricep Tank. It’s just that when that much spandex and tight, bronzed skin flashes in my peripheral vision I can’t help but at the very least glance over. It’s like waving a sparkler in front of a monkey, it’s all reflex.
Nonetheless, I feel a little guilty about it. You’re superlatively hot, but that shouldn’t mean that you can’t spend some time on the Ab Swing without drawing the attention of every eye in here. That’s just not fair.
So, in an attempt to do my part, I’d just like to let you know that you can feel free to stare at me as much as you want. Feel free to gaze at my pasty-white legs the whole time I do the Calf Wrangler. Become completely entranced as I struggle feebly to lift any weight in the Bicep Hullabahoo. Heck, steal a glance while I’m getting a drink at the Water Fountainarama if you like. I’d just like to let you know I’m doing my part to make things even.
I can’t stop looking at you in such a way as to make you feel like a piece of meat. But I can welcome you to try and make me feel the same way. That’s my contract with you, the gym hottie.
Well, I feel better already. Everything seems much fairer.
Alright, well you just head on over and get to work on the Glute Luge, and I’ll be over here watching you.
But by all means, feel free to watch me watching you.