On Kirk’s New Watch

Kirk: Well, all I’m saying is that Stacy Watts isn’t as hot as she thinks she is. Anyways, we’ve got to get going, the show’s gonna start soon.
Ryan: New watch?
Kirk: Yeah, it’s weird. I bought it online and I didn’t know it was gonna be so small. I think it might actually be a woman’s watch, but it fits and it tells the time so it doesn’t really matter to me.
Ryan: Weird. I never knew you were into cross dressing.
Kirk: I’m not. It’s a watch.
Ryan: A woman’s watch.
Kirk: Yeah, but it’s just a watch.
Ryan: Ok. Whatever.
Kirk: Man, has this been some cold spell or what?
Ryan: Have you told your parents yet?
Kirk: That it’s cold out?
Ryan: No, that you’re gay.
Kirk: What!? I’m not gay!
Ryan: Well, you’re a cross dresser and gay dudes are cross dressers.
Kirk: Look, first of all, I’m not a cross dresser. It’s a watch! Second of all, I really don’t think that being a cross dresser automatically means that you’re gay.
Ryan: Sorry, I guess you should know, you’re the gay cross dresser.
Kirk: Ok, now you’re just being ridiculous.
Ryan: Either way, I just want to say that I think it was really wrong that that gay dude Matthew Sheppard got killed for being gay.
Kirk: Well, that’s good to know.
Ryan: I ain’t no gay-hater.
Kirk: Look, this is really getting tiresome, would you just stop?
Ryan: Uh oh, here it comes…
Kirk: What?
Ryan: You’re frustrated with me because you’re in love with me but you can’t have me because I’m not gay.
Kirk: That’s ridiculous.
Ryan: Ok, fine, I’ll make out with you.
Kirk: What the… wait a second, are you gay?
Ryan: No! No way, man. I mean one time I kissed this guy in Mexico but that was an accident.
Kirk: Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but if you are gay this is a really messed up way of telling me.
Ryan: What, you mean like hacking into watchesrus.com and changing your order in the hopes that this conversation would someday ensue?
Kirk: Oh my gosh, you’ve got to be kidding me. All right, you just take the tickets. I don’t even want to see Woodland Vaudeville anymore. I need to go find a sane person to hang out with.
Ryan: (sigh) Gay haters…