(A televised press conference in front of a small town police station)
Well everyone, I’d just like to announce that we’re continuing our investigation into the recent theft at the Cheerios factory. Despite our efforts it seems that the identity of the cereal burglar remains a mystery. You can rest assured that we will continue to do everything in our power here to be sure that this man is brought to justice and to return the stolen cereal if that is possible.
(receives note from a police officer)
OK. It seems that there are now reports of an additional robbery, this time at the Corn Flakes factory. We are consequently concluding that we are now dealing with a serial cereal burglar.
(receives another note)
Alright, I’ve been asked to announce that in light of these most recent events, Kellog’s has just released a new variety of cereal to help with the investigation. If you purchase a box of serial cereal burglar cereal, you will find on the box information about how you can help authorities in your area with the search for this individual.
(receives another note)
Hmm. Alright it seems that somebody has been reported as stealing small quantities of the serial cereal burglar cereal, and authorities in that area believe that is a separate individual from the serial cereal burglar. So it seems that we now have a serial cereal burglar cereal burglar on our hands.
(another note)
Ok. That report has been upgraded to include the fact that this man has apparently stolen a large quantity of the serial cereal burglar cereal. So we’re now dealing with a serial serial cereal burglar cereal burglar.
(another note)
Alright, this may be hard to believe, but it now seems that somebody has stolen the serial serial cereal burglar cereal burglar. So what we’re now looking for is a serial serial cereal burglar cereal burglar burglar. That being said, I think we can all take some comfort in that fact that there is only one serial serial cereal burglar cereal burglar so there is no need to worry about upgrading this most recent criminal to the status of serial serial serial cereal burglar cereal burglar burglar.
Um, ok, well it looks like there’s no more notes so in the meantime I encourage everyone to take this time to enjoy some oatmeal or any of the assorted number of breakfast pastries that are available for consumption. That concludes my remarks for this afternoon. I hope everyone has a pleasant day. Hakuna Matata.