I am trapped.
I just gave Tracy that file she asked for. Did she say thank you? I think she said thank you. I am not sure if she said thank you. I think I heard something. It may have been thank you. Then again it may not have been thank you. It could have been her chair. It might have been a cough. I have no flipping idea.
Ack, what do I do? If she said thank you, I should say you’re welcome. Or at the very least no problem. Silence would be rude. I do not want to be rude. I should say you’re welcome.
Ack, no! If she did not say thank you, saying you’re welcome would be rude. It would be a clear call of attention to her lack of courtesy. No one appreciates a polite-aleck. Being polite is a personal freedom, and one should not be made to feel guilty for refraining from it. I should not say you’re welcome.
Ack, but if she did indeed say thank you, my silence will be rude, remember? And while it is my personal choice to be rude if I want to, I choose not to be rude. I will not have that choice be made for me! Oh, Tracy, curse you and your diction-less tongue! One would think a woman of your girth would be as loud as your volume implies. Why couldn’t you just speak up, you ogress? Or shut the hell up! Whichever, but pick one! Oh, Lord! Why? Why me? What am I to do?
To be rude, or not to be rude, that is the question! Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of discourtesy, or take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by speaking, end them. To hush, to speak, no more. And by a phrase to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished!
Ack, I just have to decide, already. Just dig deep. Follow your instinct. Let your intuition guide you. Do you hear that, intuition? Guide me! Say something!
It’s saying something. Open your mouth, let it speak. Let it speak! Let it speak!
Alright already. Be quiet! I’d let it speak, if you’d just shut the hell up!
”Hmm?”
”What?”
”I Said ‘Hmm?’ Meaning, did you say something?”
”No, I didn’t say anything, ya weirdo. Are you going to stand there all day? Don’t read over my shoulder. It’s rude.”
”You’re welcome.”
You’re welcome, indeed.