We’ve all heard things like this before:
- You’ll spend 1/3 of your life sleeping (25 years)
- You’ll spend 20% of your life working (15 years)
…and so on. Facts like these never really explore the important things, though. And, if you’ll notice, that’s 40 years of your life already gone. So I have taken a few minutes to give you a brief synopsis of the rest of life (assuming you live to be 75 or so):
- You’ll spend 5 1/3 years of it in school. (30 years left)
- You’ll spend 9 and a half days in the physical act of peeing.
- You’ll spend 5 years of your life at meals. (25 left).
- 18 days will be spent taking out the trash (unless you’re a trash man, then you gotta throw that into the whole ‘job’ category).
- You’ll spend roughly 2 years of your life driving.
- You’ll spend 5 years of your life watching television. (18 years left).
- 1 year 4 months of this will be on commercials.
- You’ll spend 4 months of your life on the john.
- Almost 2 days of that will be spent actually pooping,
- While for almost 9 days, you’ll be wiping (!!!)
- Between 6 and 7 months will be spent bathing.
- You’ll spend 2 and a half days finding your keys.
- And the next three looking for Easter eggs.
- And, oh, about 71 years horny. (if you’re a guy)
That’s about all I could come up with right now. When you think about it, though, shouldn’t we come up with a more efficient way of wiping? I mean, 9 days? Think about it.