If I was forced to choose one phrase to sum up the foreign policy of the United States (and I am – send help!), I would paraphrase G. W. Bush; We are doing God’s work, to spread freedom throughout the world. This, of course, makes a lot of sense. The Bible is fraught with democracy and free trade. Allow me to pad this piece with a great many examples:
After Moses received the Ten Suggestions from the President, he brought them down the mountain to be ratified. It was a tough session of the Exodus Congress. Many of the members had recently switched camps from the Faithful to Golden Calf parties, an endorsement of the Suggestions was by no means a done deal. After 10 grueling days of debate, not to mention an overnight filibuster where Aaron read what was to become the Book of Numbers, an amended Ten Suggestions was ratified with a two-thirds majority. Many attribute Joshua with the crucial groundbreaking compromise. The Sixth Suggestion was amended to read “Three-Fifths of the Time Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery.” And then Moses ordered the Levites to go through the camp and slaughter most of the members of the Golden Calf party (after receiving the go ahead from the Executive Branch).
When the world had become corrupt with campaign finance infractions and an excess of pork barrel legislation, the President made an executive decision to reorganize the governmental structure. He called upon Noah, Undersecretary of Transportation, to organize a meeting of the United Species, a multilateral organization of world leaders. Sequestered on a 40 day cruise, the U.S. thought it best to completely restructure the government, not building upon existing systems, but creating new ones. It was a bold decision, but since the majority of the globe was in agreement, the Ark Accord was implemented with little opposition. Soon after, however, Noah was relieved of his post amidst allegations of homosexual incest.
Many of the most famous quotations from the Bible hearken back to its democratic leanings. Take Matthew 3:2, “Repent, for the parliamentary system of heaven is near!” Who can forget the President’s Prayer, “Thy bicameral legislature come, Thy bill voted upon.” And surely we all know the popular spiritual, “When Moses Was in Egypt Land, Hold a Public Referendum to Decide Whether a Minority Shall Be Afforded Equal Civil Rights.” Prime Minister of Prime Ministers! President of Presidents!
Also, take these famous democratic lyrics, sung every Christmas at my high school:
For the President elected reigneth.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
The country of this world
Is become the republic of the People,
And of their Money, and of their Money;
And he shall reign for one term and one term,
For one term and one term, for one term and one term.
Democracy! Worship the crap out of it!