I hope that, if I am ever stranded in the desert, crawling across the cracked, hot surface of the earth in search of sweet life-giving water, and I look up to see a mirage of an oasis in front of me, I hope it has great productions values.
I just know that I’m a tough sell, really. I don’t want to raise my shrunken, bruised eyes to gaze upon a shimmering pool of water surrounded by swaying palm trees, and think, “Bah, that looks so fake. Those girls frolicking in wet t-shirts look really computer-y.”
I feel like if I find myself in this situation (in the desert, dying of thirst) I will soon be dead. So I’d like, at least, to have that last bit of happiness. That brief few moments of joy when I see the oasis. Those thirty or so seconds of bliss during which I think that I’ve been saved and will live to see the sun rise again.
And if the skyline in my mirage just screams “matte painting”, I won’t have those moments.
I want the coconuts to have that perfect burlap texture. I want to be able to discern small water droplets on the banana bunches. I want the wet t-shirt girls to be wearing tiny Adidas soccer shorts and maybe be gently biting their bottom lips.
I want the best. Or I want nothing at all.
If I don’t get a good looking mirage, I’d rather just die right then and there.
And go to heaven.
And heaven better have AMAZING production values. And some tiny Adidas soccer shorts drenched in plenty of that sweet life-giving water.