Part 4 of Anniversary Week
So every nonprofit organization is supposed to have some kind of Mission Statement. “You guys are a nonprofit organization?” you might be thinking. We are, in the strictest sense of the term. We are an organization. And we definitely do not make any profit. We don’t even cover our overhead, which, economically speaking, deems us failures. But are we failures? I’d answer that with a resounding “perhaps”. That being said, we’ve been operating for one whole year without a Mission Statement. So, as my anniversary gift to T.J. Monkey’s and its loyal readers, I will now provide you all with our Mission Statement:
We, the members of T.J. Monkey’s pledge provide our fans with new material every day. Being as we, the members of T.J. Monkey’s, are not only members, but our biggest fans as well, we promise to each have at least one new thought every day. Disclaimer: thoughts (small “t”) are not necessarily Thoughts (big “T”). For the unlucky few who stumble onto our site looking for badass cars, naked guys at the gym, or are just trying to find out what happened to Sean after high school, we pledge to make you believe that new material will be posted on the site every day, thereby getting you to check the site every day. We will not, however, make good on this pledge. We will have seven Thoughts posted for any given week, provided that week began at least seven days prior to today (today being the day you read this and not the day it was written). T.J. Monkey’s will continue to provide lazy-ass readers with a top 50 Thoughts, arbitrarily chosen through a combination of roulette and snail races. And the voting. Yeah. That.
Porter pledges to write a Thought or two in the first person insecure. Scott pledges never to make you have to scroll down to read his Thoughts. Sean pledges to continue writing as few Thoughts as possible so as not to make the rest of the group feel bad. Flynn pledges to continue writing bitter, unintelligible Thoughts using words he made up. Seth pledges to 1) make more lists and 2) make more lists. Bret has a moral opposition to making pledges that don’t involve Jesus in some way. Harris pledges to become an orthodontist. John pledges allegiance to the flag. Nupe pledges to be Nupe, and that’s the best pledge of all.
T.J. Monkey’s pledges to provide anyone who stumbles onto its pages with the opportunity to smile, laugh, chuckle, chortle, snort, guffaw, or groan everyday. We hope it’s been half as much fun to read as it has been to create. Here’s to many more years.
Thank You. Seriously. Thank You.