On Losing My Mind

As I approach my last set of exams EVER, my final finals if you will, I’ve realized that I am, in fact, losing my mind. Not “slashing prices at my wholesale furniture store crazy,” but rather “senile old man looking for car keys” losin’ it.

How do I know?

Let me answer that in an easy to digest list form

1) I recently went to take my contacts out of my eyes to prepare to go to sleep. I got out my contacts case, unscrewed the two tops (one for each eye’s contact), squirted in some saline solution for the contacts to sleep in overnight, and then screwed the tops back on. Can anyone tell me which step I skipped? Yep. It was the one where I should actually take the contacts out and put them into the case.

2) I live alone. While sitting on my couch, a thought, not a Thought, might pop into my head. Something like: “I wonder what ratiocinative means.” Instead of keeping that thought inside my head, I say it out loud…for no reason. Again, I live alone. I already “heard” the thought in my head. Why do I then feel I need to say it?

3) I’ll walk into a room and forget why. Maybe we all do this, but I’ll walk into the bathroom…and I have to pee really badly…but I just can’t remember why I’m there. I then leave the bathroom and summarily wet myself.

4) I get viscerally upset at Veronica, Rachel, CT and the rest of the Bas Asses on Inferno II. I don’t know these people and likely never will. They’re on a reality show, so they’re basically the most fictional people around. Why do I care that they all shit on Jodie and made her cry? The signs for this one were there when I used to lifeguard and would get caught up before work in Baywatch storylines. Not for the running on the beach, but for the actual storylines.

5) I was at a bar recently and was speaking with a lovely young lady. She began saying some incredible stuff. I mean porn level stuff here, people (or at least what I imagine people might say in a porno if there were dialogue). At one point she said she would like to flash me in the lady’s room. My initial response? “But there’s no lock on the door,” immediately followed by the thought, “how would we both get in there without it being obvious?” Wouldn’t I want it to be obvious that I’m going into a room, at a pub, with an attractive woman? See. I’ve lost it.

So, I hope to get through these finals before my brain turns completely into applesauce.

And, girl from the bar, if you’re out there reading this, get in touch with me before I forget you exist…

Did you like this Thought? Sure did. No, I did not.