I once killed a man just to see him die.
And, I’m not gonna lie, it was pretty cool. Not quite what I expected, but good. Three stars, I’d say.
The beginning was awesome, really fast-paced and exciting. He immediately started jerking all around, you know. The effects were great; he was gasping for air and the whole bit, I mean, it was just really realistic. He really had me hooked, and I totally forgot everything else that was going on around me.
But then it got kind of slow in the middle. I mean, he had been cursing at me at the beginning and he was spewing out words so quick I could hardly keep up. But he really lost steam, and at this one point, he took, like, thirty seconds just to say, “help”. It was overkill, and it really just took me out of the whole experience. I definitely looked at my watch once or twice.
Plus, I found the whole thing really hard to follow. Sometimes he would act like he was going to sort of get up and make a last ditch effort to retaliate (which I thought would be a cool plotline), but then other times he seemed like he’d given up hope and was crying out to God to save him. Either choice would’ve been fine, but he kept going back and forth. It made the whole thing feel very disjointed.
So, anyway, the getting up thing was totally abandoned, and after a while he just lay there for a long time. This part really dragged on. It’s like, “How many times do we need to see this guy wheezing? He’s dying! We get it!” It was kind of nice, though, because it provided a good opportunity to run to the bathroom.
And then the end, well, I won’t give the whole thing away, but, well, he dies. I mean, and I sort of knew that going into it.
I will say this, the whole thing looked beautiful. I mean, vivid reds, whites, purples. It was really a feast for the eyes.
Something was missing though. And I really left feeling, “Was that it?” Ultimately, it wasn’t worth it, and I wouldn’t recommend it.
But it was kind of like when you build up a movie in your head, and then when you go to see it finally and there’s just no way the real movie will be able to match the version of the movie you’ve already created in your head. And I think I do this a lot, I allow my preconceptions of something to overshadow the actual experience. So if there’s one lesson I could pass along, it would be: don’t build up your expectations too high or else you’ll doom yourself to a lifetime of disappointment.
Oh, and also: don’t kill people.