Don’t you hate it when you’re having some perfect moment in your life, and then totally and without any warning it just gets ruined?
Like, it was my wedding the other day, and it was a beautiful day, and every looked great and all dressed-up, and suddenly there are these fifty hyper dogs running at us with mud all over them! They just rampage all about, mud everywhere, jumping on guests, ripping down wicker arches and whatnot. GagagaGOOEY! It was insanity. And I just don’t know how it happened.
It would’ve been a beautiful wedding too. We had the ceremony on that picturesque hill in South Bank Park. You know South Bank, the park with the huge marsh right next to the open air dog park?
Anyway, it was all ruined. Who could’ve planned for all those muddy dogs? Not me, pal. Needless to day, it was a disaster, I had to pay for the dry cleaning of about a hundred suits and dresses, and I ended up not even getting married. My wife left me to marry one of the dog’s owners who was this long lost high school romance or something. FafafaFOOEY! Out of nowhere, my life just fell into disarray.
Well, the happy ending is: I’m getting married this weekend to a girl I met at the dry cleaners. She’s great, and I love her, and I just can’t wait for the wedding.
The ceremony’s gonna be on Grenville Cliffs. You know Grenville Cliffs, with the series of large boulders that dangle precariously above that creaky wooden platform that was built over the huge pit full of water moccasins? And the whole thing is right next to the wall of that federal prison that often is the site of intense escapes, standoffs, and shootouts? Yeah, we’re having the ceremony on the precarious boulders themselves and the guests will sit on the creaky wooden platform. Some guests will sit in the crow’s nest of the prison, actually taking the place of the guards, who will be off duty, so essentially that wall of the prison (which is structurally weak) will be largely unsupervised. Also, the musicians will be aiming their speakers right at the snakes, essentially taunting them and riling them up for hours on end. Plus, I wanted to surprise Denise, so every single guest will actually be a lover from her past that she still has strong feelings for. Oh, and the snakes will be really muddy, too.
Anyway, i find myself in another one of those perfect little moments. I just hope nothing out of the blue happens and ruins it. That would be terrible! ZazazaZOOEY!