My flight was delayed this morning.

It seems Southwest developed an airplane that can achieve speeds faster than light, while still retaining structural integrity and remaining folksy.

It sounded like a good idea until they had to cancel several flighs due to inclement paradoxes in Chicago. Several people were arriving for connecting flights only to discover they’d arrived in 1860’s Chicago, well before commercial air travel was invented.

And one guy got into a fight over a checked bag and killed his own grandpa.

It’s either that or there was a snowstorm. I don’t listen too close to those announements.