Recently a wonderful opportunity was presented to me as a result of being part of the T.J. Monkey’s writing staff. I received an email from Ja Rule stating his desire to move into other artistic formats other than music. Specifically, after successful hip-hop collaborations with Ashanti, J-Lo, Ashanti, Mary J Blige, and Ashanti, he wanted to collaborate on a Thought with yours truly. Pleased as a peach to be joining the Murder, Inc. family of artists I gleefully said yes. I present to you now the fruit of our collaborative efforts.
I don’t want to seem like the super “politically correct” guy, but I’ve recently noticed something that I find to be really offensive going on. In the spirit of making the best out of a bad situation I’ve decided to bring attention to this issue via a humorous essay. I always say that when life gives you lemons, you become a slimy used car salesman and sell them to some gullible people and make a huge profit.
BABY GIRRRL, PUT IT ON MEEEEE!!!
It seems to me that society’s way of naming pliers is inconsiderate at best. At worst it’s rude, degrading, and still inconsiderate. I can only think of two classifications for pliers off the top of my head: needle-nosed and snub-nosed. If I were me (and I am!) I wouldn’t want to be called either of those names.
AND ONLY 4 THA RULE BABYYYYYYY!!!
Think of the poor self-image that so many plier children are growing up with! I bet pliers spend millions of dollars every year on nose jobs, trying to fit some image that we’re trying to put on them. Isn’t it the inside that counts? Shouldn’t we forget all of this obsession with physical looks and take some time to get to know pliers as the gentle, loving souls that they really are?
I KNOW YOU MISS MY LOVINNNNN’, MY THUGGINNNNN’!!!
What’s that? Pliers are lifeless and inanimate tools that have no feeling and couldn’t care less about what they’re being called because they can’t care about anything?
EVERY THUG NEEDS A LADYYYY!!!
So true Mr. Rule, so true. If nothing else, that’s certainly one message we can take away from this thought. But does every lady need a thug? That’ll have to wait for our next thrilling thought collaboration.