A long time ago, baby powder was not so much for babies, but against them. That is, it was made of babies. Pulverized, granules of dried baby. Similarly, baby oil was taken from those humanettes, much the way oil is “sweated” out of olives. Lower quality baby oil was pressed, then filtered. Both the powder and oil were used by the rich for cosmetic reasons, restoring youth and pliability to aging and dry skin.
If you don’t believe me, congratulations. You’re not a friggin’ idiot. While this is unfortunately an accomplishment, I won’t be handing out cookies just yet. Obviously baby powder was never made of babies, and anyone who would believe that or something equally retarded should be soundly insulted, abused, perhaps put out of our collective misery. This is one of the Rules of Gullibility.
But this Rule is being abused left and right by people who, while well-intentioned, are perhaps a bit overzealous in their enforcement. I’m constantly coming into contact with people who are trying to “get” me by telling me mundane things I would have every reason to believe are true:
Them: Hey, I went to the mall yesterday.
Me: Oh, really, did you buy anything?
Them: No! I didn’t even go to the mall yesterday! Holy falafel, I totally got you! Zingaroonies!
Me: No. No you did not “get” me. No one was “gotten”. You are a moron.
Why is it ridiculous for me to believe that, say, someone went to the mall yesterday? I can’t think of a single instance where that would be ridiculous. Unless perhaps I was with Them all of yesterday and we were enjoying one of America’s national parks, fah, fah away from any shopping establishment; an unlikely situation at best. It seems these Thems are so intent on busting people for some form of gullibility that they are setting up illegitimate Gullibility Sting Ops. But I and, I have to believe, the many others who must endure this crap become the victims of Entrapment. Set up, taken in, and justly acquitted, though victims of the process nonetheless.
Perhaps I am a bigger target for these kinds of attacks, since I am a staunch supporter of the Rules. But that only means I will uphold the Code with more rigidity, abusing only those who are truly gullible, only those who believe the utterly preposterous. For my honor, for all that I stand for, for all that I believe in.