Um, hello there. Uh, you don’t know me or anything. I’m really sorry actually that I’ve interrupted what you’re doing. Quite sorry and, uh, well, I’ll try to finish this up so you can get back to whatever it was that you were up to. I’m sure it was much more important anyway. Um, oh wow, those are um, neat sneakers you’re wearing there. Not that I mean to pry it’s just that, well, I hope you didn’t mind me saying that. Sorry.
Um, well, you don’t know me but my name’s Melvin Skjenarjkel. What’s that? Oh, no you can pronounce it however you want. No, really that way’s fine; it doesn’t really matter. It’s just my name or whatever and I don’t want to waste your time. Sorry.
Anyway, um, well I guess I should get to the point and stop wasting your time. Well, for whatever it’s worth I recently received word from a Divine Messenger that I’m going to, well, I’m going to inherit the earth. Yeah, and, uh, well, um, they mentioned something about me being able to invite some other people to join me in the, um, everlasting kingdom of joy that I’m gonna like, well, um, own. Don’t worry or anything about the quality of, um, the earth because they were saying that, er, um, well, they were gonna like revamp everything and there’ll be like cities of gold and stuff and well, they promised it’d be pretty neat.
Anyway, I guess I just figured some of you might be interested to know about all that or whatever and if you wanted to like, um, I dunno introduce yourself and then maybe we could hang out or something and then, well, I could grant you access to the eternity of um, bliss to which I hold the, er, key. We wouldn’t even need to hang out if you didn’t wanna, but I do need your name so that I can, um, tell ’em who to put on the, well, guest list. Plus, we’ll have the whole earth or whatever so you wouldn’t even have to hang around me if you didn’t want- you know, while you’re, um, enjoying the eternal happiness and stuff.
Ok, well, yeah, I’ll just be over here playing checkers with myself in the corner over here so yeah, if you want you could, you know, um, yeah, well, whatever. Sorry again to interrupt you.