There exists only a fine line between being anal-retentive and being autistic. If you think about it for a few minutes, it becomes apparent. Autistic people need things done in very specific ways. Same with anal-retentives. Autistics become obsessed with minute details. Same with anal-retentives. Autistics have extremely poor social skills and can’t think outside of their perfect 10x10x10 boxes. Same with anal-retentives. Autistics have been known to knock their heads against the wall when, say, the point on a favorite crayon is too sharp because you twisted it eight times instead of seven times and you didn’t use the specific crayon sharpener, the specific crayon sharpener, the specific crayon sharpener on the back of the crayon box. Anal-retentives have been known to develop stress headaches because you accidentally filed David Bowie’s The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust (released 1972) before Hunky Dory (released 1971) when the organizational scheme is clearly, clearly, clearly alphabetical by artist and release date within artist.
Hold up, I need an Advil.
Autistics and anal-retentives are practically indistinguishable. Practically. But there is one difference, albeit small. Autism is often characterized by one remarkable ability, whether it be brilliant mathematical skills, an impeccable memory for facts, or a mastering of ice sculpture. Anal-retentives exhibit special abilities, too. They’re handy with dust mops. They can spot an exact perpendicular line from twenty yards. And if filing was an Olympic sport, they’d have to iron the wrinkles out of the Wheaties just to get through the photo shoot. But abilities are nowhere near remarkable. They’re noteworthy, sure. Outstanding at best. So it’s extremely important that you understand the ability classification system, where an ability starting with the letters A-K is noteworthy (or outstanding) L-R is remarkable or incredible, and S-Z is amazing or extraordinary. Otherwise, you could place yourself in a potentially embarrassing situation, such as accidentally referring to an anal-retentive child as autistic, or worse, accidentally referring to an autistic child as anal-retentive.
Similarly, being able to distinguish between autistic folk and anal-retentive folk can save you from a terrible date. Because, seriously, who wants to date some who’s anal-retentive? That constant organizing and reorganizing, the frequent and spontaneous use of the air bubble level, and the lectures about how the smallest four tined fork is used for salad while the three tined fork should be, must be, and will be used for shrimp or fish. And, besides, ice sculptures are really great for summer barbeques.