One of the major goals of science in recent decades has been to develop a renewable source of food to feed the world’s ever-increasing population. I, in true T.J. Monkey’s fashion, have developed that source of food.
When developing this new miracle food (called, aptly, Synthetic Hunger-Eliminating Treat, or SHET for short), I focused on two key elements; price and content. I needed this new food to be cheap and nutritious. I’m not so worried about taste, since I’m marketing this to the impoverished and hungry. They’ll eat what they can get, am I right!?!
My solution is a simple one. SHET. It consists of one part price and one part content. The basis of SHET is a marshmallow Peep (rabbit or chick – doesn’t matter). I know, I know. You’re thinking, of all things why Peeps? Well, I’ll tell you. There is nothing real in a Peep. Not one tiny little speck of nourishment derived from plant or animal. A Peep is 100% synthetic. We can make them in laboratories, garages, or the trunks of cars for little to no money, kind of like speed. What’s more, Peeps weigh almost nothing, so shipping is a breeze!
But wait, you’re thinking, you’ve got the price low, you’ve got the renewable thing down. But Flynn, where’s the content? Where’s the content, Flynn? I got your content right here. I take a vitamin pill (also pretty cheap and totally man-made) and I shove it into the belly of the Peep. And voila! SHET!
So you’re intrigued, right? You’re thinking, this guy is really on to something. Damn right. But I’m not going keep it al to myself here. I’m not that selfish. No, but seriously, I am extending an invitation to each and every T.J. Monkey’s fan to join the SHET development process. This is a wonderful opportunity to be a part of something that’ll help people, and more importantly, make you rich. Anyone who wants in, let me know.