I often get phone calls from charitable organizations asking if I have
anything to donate, be it time, money, clothing or something else.
However, nothing prepared me for the phone call I received a few nights
ago.
It went a little something…like this:
“Hello.”
“Good evening, sir. How are you today?”
“Doing well thanks.
“Glad to hear it. We see from our records here that you’re an organ
donor. Is that right?”
“I believe so.”
“That’s great. Just fantastic. So, do you have anything for us this
week?”
“Um, have any what?”
“Organs, sir. You are a donor, correct?”
“Uh huh. But I was under the impression that, um, you only collected if
I were, you know, uh, dead.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t have any organs to donate? You lied when
you said you were an organ donor?”
“No, no. I am. I just, well, I just need my organs right now. Because,
as I would imagine you can tell, I’m very much alive at this point.”
“Can’t spare a kidney or an extra lung or something? Maybe a
spleen?”
“A spleen? You don’t even need a spleen.”
“Maybe you don’t, but some people aren’t as fortunate, sir.”
“No, I mean the general you. People. We, us. Spleens aren’t
biologically necessary.”
“Whoa there, Dr. Science. I can’t keep up with your big words and fancy
book learnin’. Bottom line: you an organ donor or not? You got anything
for us?”
“I just. I…look, I’m in the middle of dinner. I’m going to go eat
now.”
“Yeah, you do that. Enjoy your complete and fully functional digestive
track, pallie.”
“Uh, yeah. Will do. Goodbye then…”