Let’s just say, hypothetically, that someone, let’s call him, Mupe, got set up on a blind date with a girl that was promised to be “perfect for you, really.”
Let’s also say, hypothetically speaking of course, that this Mupe character went out with this perfect-for-you girl, and rather enjoyed this person’s company, although he didn’t find the girl particularly attractive. At the end of the first date, Mupe pronounces, “I’ll call you.”
Mupe doesn’t call. Time passes. The girl calls Mupe and asks, “Where have you been?” Mupe doesn’t have the guts to tell the truth and says, “Oh, I’ve been working very hard in (hypothetical, of course) med school, sorry I didn’t call you. (hard swallow) Let’s go out on Friday night.”
So the two go out again. This time at the end of the date, there is an akward pause. The girl wants a kiss. Mupe wants to catch the train home. “I’ll call you,” says Mupe. They hug. Awkwardly.
Again, Mupe doesn’t call. Is he heartless? Does he not respect the woman’s feelings? Naw, Mupe is just a coward. He can’t bring himself to tell the girl that he doesn’t like her, so he hopes that this will all just die down, and he can call in three weeks to go bowling or some other non-romantic exercise.
Mupe runs into the girl one week later on Mewbury St. in Roston, Assacusetts. “Hey, Mupe,” says the girl, “where have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.”
“Oh, my cell phone must be broken,” Mupe lies again, “How are you?”
“I’m wonderful. I wanted to tell you that I had a great time on Saturday. Do you want to go out this weekend?” she asks.
“Oh…. sure,” Mupe replies, “I’d love to, it’s just that… uh, I’m having this problem, with uh… my ex… my ex-roommate. Yeah, my ex-roommate, and he’s, uh… he’s… in love with me! Yep. That’s it. He’s in love with me, and I think I’m gonna need a few weeks to think about it.”
“You’re… ex… ROOMMATE!??” she says, “This all finally makes sense…” She wheels around and points an all-too-accusing finger, “I knew you were gay!”
She turned her back on Mupe and stormed away. He never thought it would work, but in the end, the lie took like a charm, and no one was the wiser. Mupe gloated for a few minutes at his amazing ability to deceive and to decept. After all, no harm, no foul, right? Mupe could let the girl believe that he was gay, and he could just go on living his crazy, heterosexual life, just as he lived it before.
All he had to do now was figure out a way to get his periwinkle window treatments to mesh with his sky blue curtains. Ugh.