Are you wealthy? Do you like science? If you are, and you do, keep reading! If not, go back to the beginning and answer yes to both questions in order to humor us!
Do you have a lot of time on your hands? If you do, keep reading! If not, re-order your priorities and keep reading!
Like the gentlemen scientists of yesteryear, you too can make a difference in the lives of your fellow human beings through studies in science! Sir Isaac Newton answered “yes” to the above questions, and look what happened to him! He discovered gravity, invented calculus, and had a fig-flavored dessert bar named after him! Here are just a few experiments to get you started:
- Science Experiments for the Very Wealthy
- Can a dollar bill reader in a vending machine tell the difference between different bills? Try using a ten dollar bill next time you (or one of your servants) uses a vending machine. And if you don’t have a ten, try a fifty! If you get ten (or fifty) cans of soda, your experiment was a success! If not, no worries! You’re wealthy and can afford to gamble a bit in the name of science! Waste not, want not? Hogwash. Want not, waste whatever the heck you want!
- Which is more comfortable, a hammock made from one dollar bills, or a hammock made from one hundred dollar bills? Intuition would tell use the latter would be better. It is worth more after all. But what’s the fun in guesswork? Hire the finest weavers you can find (migrant workers: OK) and start relaxing! You’ll make a scientific discovery in no time. Other similar experiments include which denomination of bill works better as toilet paper, and which provide the best fuel for roasting truffles.
- Head out on your yacht and find out which make better flotation devices, gold bricks or sacks of gold coins. Don’t try them on yourself; you’re too valuable for science to lose! Find willing volunteers (migrant workers: OK), and start having scientific fun in the sun!
- Find out which provides more pleasure, flying around in your private jet, or having someone else fly you around in your private jet. Make sure you get a base endorphin count before taking off. Controls are very important in science!
These experiments are just a few suggestions to get you started on your fabulous journey into scientific discovery! To make important scientific discoveries, one must observe carefully, think critically, and above all, spend gobs and gobs of money! And if that doesn’t work, then just steal someone else’s ideas (migrant workers: OK)!