I bought some Dannon Mixed Berry yogurt yesterday.
According to the container, it was full of “active yogurt cultures.”
“Good for them,” I thought, “There’s nothing worse than a stagnant culture. Bogged down in a world without innovation or creativity, society quickly crumbles without an ever-developing cultural component. I am pleased to know that my Mixed Berry yogurt is experiencing a dynamic world of music, literature and dance.”
Swallowing another spoonful, I then thought, “But what if my yogurt cultures are developing badly? What if the highest expression of cultural sophistication in my Mixed Berry yogurt is thrash metal and hardcore pornography? Just because a culture is active and changing does not necessarily mean it’s for the better.”
I considered the bright picture of a berry on the outside of the container. The work of a yogurt Andy Warhol or the bright facade of a decadent yogurt society? Could I eat this yogurt without knowing what those cultures were up to?
I bought some chips instead.
Chips are culturally and morally bankrupt.