There comes a time in every man’s life when he must tackle the big questions. What is the meaning of life? Are we alone in the universe? Will the world ever be ready for clear cola? Who put the “bop” in the “bop-dee-bop-dee-bop”? The pursuit of the answers to these questions has consumed the lives of thousands of philosophers and poets and knocked a couple hours sleep off of just about everyone’s lives at one point or another.
Perhaps one of the greatest questions throughout our history has been: Is there a God?
A number of people have ideas on this and they often vocally tell people what they are. Two such groups of people: the insane and the homeless. Which, I’m sure if you’re God (and if you are, and you’re reading this then that totally rocks, I’m a big fan) must be a really comforting thought. It’s rather like running for President and being endorsed by the Nazis and Pat Buchanan. Now, you never know–it’s very possible that they really have seen proof of the existance of God in which case it’s just really rotten luck for God.
See, I’m sure God says to Himself, “OK, I am going to go down to Earth today and reveal myself to someone and prove my existence to man once and for all.” So he concocts a clever scheme whereby the face of Mary appears in the egg salad at a New York lunchtime salad bar and He’s really excited about everyone finally finding out when in walks Joe Crazyguy who then blows the whole thing because no one believes the nutjob. In fact, God is a lot like Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street. Remember? Remember how Big Bird told everyone about him but no one believed it and every time someone was about to see Snuffy something would happen and then they wouldn’t see him and everyone thought Big Bird was a little odd (aside from the fact that he was a 7-foot tall talking canary)? God is kinda like Snuffy and the pope is a lot like Big Bird.
So, homeless/crazy aside, the notion of “God” also seems to be endorsed by a number of religious people, too. But in the end, you really have to discount ther opinion because what are they going to do? Say He doesn’t exist? Well, that will put you out of a job pretty quick–kinda like drinking Pepsi at a Coke bottling plant. So their support of the notion of God is pretty much a forgone conclusion.
At this point, then, we’ve eliminated the priests, the homeless and the insane from our roster of potential reliable God advocates. Well, lawyers tend to be good at proving things, but of course they are Godless heathen and people trust lawyers less than they do the homeless. When I was at court in my former job (I am a registered sex offender), I often heard people say, “What? Get some court-appointed lawyer to defend me? I’d rather be defended by the homeless.” This is why the homeless often rake in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in legal fees.
Like many, then, I turn to the Bible to gain support for my faith. Which is all well and good so long as we are all one-hundred percent sure of its accuracy which requires yet more faith. So, you have to believe the Bible was divinely inspired which means you have to believe in a divinity which makes using the Bible as proof of the existence of God a tautology. Or a technocracy. Or a tympany. I dunno, something with a “T”. All I can say, is that I sure hope the Bible is not a bunch of hooey because that would be pretty embarrassing for us as a species. I mean, suppose we find out that the Old Testament was just a Reader’s Digest condensed book called “The Adventures of God” which was so wildly popular that it spawned a sequel (“The New Adventures of God,” i.e. the New Testament) and an unauthorized ripoff (The Book of Mormon). That’s rather like coming upon a society that has based it’s entire moral and ethical code on the Nancy Drew mysteries.
So where does this thought leave us besides on a one-way trip to Hell? Well, I personally believe in God and I’m not just saying that so I can get away with writing everything you’ve read so far. I’m saying it because I just quit my job and don’t have another job yet and so even now am rethinking the wisdom of this whole thing.
Is there a God? I think so. It seems that the complexity of this crazy mixed up world of ours goes a long way in proving that. After all, saying it all formed by chance is a bit like dropping concrete, boards, nails, plumbing, electrical wiring and shingles from a plane and expecting to find a perfect house standing there when you land. And if you think about our success as a species so far, our luck just ain’t that good.
In the end, I guess you just have to make up your own mind. Don’t come crawling to me to answer the big questions–I never set myself up as an expert on things (please disregard everything else I have ever said or written when considering that statement). For my money, I’m going to ask the homeless guy. Because he sleeps in a gutter his whole life in a depressed, alcoholic stupor, and if he can have faith in a benevolent, merciful God than I’ve got to be impressed. For that matter, so does Robert Downey Jr. And I am equally impressed.