Recently, on this very website, I trumpeted the scientific potential of alcohol.
However, I am here to warn you that with that potential comes great risk: the risk of looking foolish, the risk of acting stupid, the risk of being what the French call “that guy”.
Two weeks ago, I went home to my mom’s house for our traditional holiday party. Friends and family gather together for good food, good conversation, and apparently some good drinking.
Now, I’ve never been the drunken fool at a party before… at least not the only drunken fool.
On this weekend, however, that all changed.
I was sitting on a couch with my dog, and someone casually said:
“Hey, I wonder if Ted (our dog) likes beer.”
Then, I, being in a helpful mood and wanting to answer this pressing question, decided I would find out.
How?
Well, by of course pouring beer directly onto the dog. That only makes sense, right?
And watching my little scientific study were my brother’s girlfriend’s parents. So, now I’m the idiot older brother not only to my own family, but to hers as well.
I’m basically Roger Clinton, the brother who’s going to put my brother’s White House run in Jeopardy.
Or I could just run myself and become the next George W…