Well, you’ve all been waiting all season long for it. You’ve sat through the chilling yet wacky Halloween farce, the heartwarming Thanksgiving tear jerker, and the crazy hijinks of the episode where Porter accidentally handcuffed himself to Scott – now, all that’s left after two months of TJ Monkeys is the dramatic, gut-wrenching… season finale.
I have spent a great deal of time (5 – 10 minutes) thinking about this (as opposed to the normal time I spend on a thought of the day (0 minutes)) and I think that I have captured the formula of surprise and drama that makes every season finale so successful. So, without further ado, the season finale of “Thought of the Day.”
As I often do, I am going to use my down-home, slightly irreverent wit to make insightful and humorous comments about an everyday event. This penetrating analysis of life’s little foibles will both stimulate and amuse the discerning reader. You see…
Oh, well, hello Scott. You look rather glum. What? You’re pregnant! My God! That explains the morning sickness, unusual yam cravings, and the fact that you look like Cass Elliott. But… but… this is so shocking and dramatic yet looking back I see how it has been cleverly set up in previous thoughts of the day. Scott, don’t worry man, we’ll be with you all the way. Even though, as a pregnant man you are clearly some disgusting, twisted freak of nature. And you’re a single parent! You beast!
Phew, well, I don’t know how much more dramatic it can get around he- Michael Caine! What are you doing here? You have something to tell me? What? What?! You’re my father! No! This is… I can’t believe this. I’m so shocked and filled with dramatic emotions. How could you have abandoned me all these years, Mr. Caine? Hmmm, yes, well that’s a good reason – you were doing classic and critically acclaimed movies like “The Cider House Rules” and “Hannah and Her Sisters” and… what?!! “Jaws: The Revenge”! Oh, Dad, how could you… *sobbing.*
I’m sorry, it’s just this season finale has been so dramatic I’m not sure I can take much more. Oh, hi Cindy. Have you guys met Cindy – the hot girl in TJ Accounting Monkeys? What’s up? You love me! You’ve never seen such a hot comedy writer!? Wow, that’s incredible! Yes, I will marry you, of course! Oh my goodness, I can’t believe this – it’s so shocking and dramatic!
Well, what a season finale, huh? I mean you could not possibly ask for more. Anyway, I hope you guys continue to tune in next season (which starts tomorrow) for more… Look out! GUN!
Who’s been hit? Who’s been hit?!
To be continued…. (maybe)