Today’s thought is a clear public service announcement for those of you who are not nearly as smart and incredibly cultured as I am. So batten down the hatches and prepare to be talked down to!
There is one great true art form and that is Jazz. All other things in the world are stupid and simple and pale in comparison to the miracle of Jazz. Jazz is like a woman. Or, if you are a woman, Jazz is like a man.
Assuming you’re hetreosexual.
Which maybe I shouldn’t assume.
Jazz is like a person of the gender and sexual orientation you in particular desire. But Jazz is no cheap fling. Jazz is a long-lasting meaningful relationship where the sex is really great, and you are still interested in each other after being together for five years even if some of the intitial excitement is gone.
That’s Jazz.
Jazz is a breezy day. The kind of day that makes you say, “Hey, I better wear some sort of coat, or else this breeze will make me cold when I’m outside. Or maybe I just won’t go outside at all and stay in bed all day and listen to Jazz.” That’s what Jazz is. And the nested reference to Jazz within the metaphor of what Jazz is may seem odd, but that’s Jazz for you. You never know what it’s gonna do.
Glarkeytown. Jazz just made me write “Glarkeytown”. I didn’t know Jazz was gonna do that. You never know what Jazz is gonna do.
That’s what so great about Jazz, and that’s why all people who don’t listen to Jazz are extremely unintelligent. Many of them may have some sort of learning disability. I don’t fault those people. Or maybe I do. Because if I didn’t fault them for not listening to Jazz, who would I fault? Jazz? You can’t fault Jazz for anything.
So, in conclusion, Jazz is the end-all be-all of the entire Universe, and everyone should listen to it all day long.
Thank you fo-… Have I been saying Jazz? I meant The Blues. Sorry about that. Just go back and substitute The Blues wherever I said Jazz. I’d do it myself, but I had to stop listening to The Blues for five minutes while I wrote this, so I got some catching up to do.
But I never will. Because you can’t never catch up to The Blues. That’s how The Blues is.